Why Consistency Matters More Than Motivation in Menopause

Content Courtesy of Our Partner

This article was written by Connie Pretula and is republished on ForeverBetty with her permission.

All rights to this article remain with Connie Pretula. We are proud to share her expertise as part of ForeverBetty's mission to provide trusted, evidence-informed menopause education while connecting women with experienced health professionals and wellness practitioners.

What Is the Best Way to Master Anything?

What is the best way to master a craft, a sport or any activity for that matter? I believe most people would say practice.

What if you practice only occasionally, would you be able to master that activity? Probably not.

The most important component of practice is consistency.

When it comes to motivation in menopause, this becomes especially important.

For some, hearing the word consistency may mean being perfect and that can add a lot of stress to wanting to master an activity.

What Bodybuilding Taught Me About Consistency

When I think back about preparing for my bodybuilding competition, the only way I would be able to have the aesthetic look I wanted to present to the judges was to be consistent with my daily routine.

I had a bodybuilding coach that gave me a workout program. A nutrition coach that gave me a daily meal plan. I also had a posing coach who gave me a routine to practice.

There was another component that really no one could give me to follow, my desire or commitment to reach my goal. That one was on me.

There were times I was tired or didn’t feel like cooking or practicing my posing. There were days I didn’t want to get up early and do my workout routine before getting ready to go to work. If I didn’t get to bed at a decent hour, getting up early would have been even more difficult and I needed my sleep to help my body repair.

How did I keep myself motivated on those days? I had pictures of women athletes pinned to my cubicle walls at work and on my fridge at home, they inspired me. I would spend part of my lunch break practicing my posing. I purchased an insulated bag to carry my meals because I had to eat 6 meals a day. I bought groceries one day and spent the next day preparing my meals for at least 5 days. I also needed to establish boundaries and be prepared to say no to certain events or activities. It also meant taking time to plan each week.

Every time I felt tempted to slack off, I knew no one would care if I didn’t reach my goal except me. I would care. Those were the times I would text one of my coaches for some additional support.

This might seem like an extreme example, and I would be the first to admit, it was hard and not the healthiest process. It did have an effect on my overall health along with all of the corporate travel and stress I was experiencing.

Over the eight months of preparing for the competition, everything I was doing was important.

If I skipped posing practice, there was no way I could step on stage and suddenly know how to present myself to the judges, especially if I wanted a chance at placing in the top three.

If I ate what my nutrition coach recommended five days a week and then ate and drank whatever I felt like on the weekends, I would not have been able to properly build muscle and lean out for competition day.

My daily habits were an important component along with the mix of desire, consistency, and focus.

How This Relates to Menopause and Midlife Health

You might be thinking, how does this relate to wanting to feel better while navigating the stages of menopause or even health in general?

When motivation in menopause feels unreliable, consistency becomes even more essential.

Our body loves routine and that requires planning, commitment, focus and consistency.

I want to readdress my earlier comment about perfection. It is common for some to give up on their goal because they feel they are not doing it perfectly. I’ve had clients give up on recording in their food journal because they were eating foods or drinking beverages that they thought were bad. Deep down, they knew they were not the best foods to be eating to support their health and recording them in the journal made them feel guilty.

There is also the fear of judgement which can go deep. Sometimes, the judgement we put on ourselves is greater than anyone else can put on us. An all or nothing mindset has quietly defeated more goals than we realize.

If you have ever felt tempted to “start over” with something extreme, you may also find this article helpful: https://conniepretula.com/detox-myth-you-need-support/

One Step at a Time

So where do we start when we want to improve our overall health and how we feel each day?

One step at a time.

It may mean going to bed and lights out 10 or 15 minutes earlier. Once that has become habit, then adding another 10 or 15 minutes until you are now getting 7 – 8 hours of sleep a night. There are so many health benefits to being in bed and lights out no later than 11:00 pm.

When cooking dinner, make extra for the next day, you’re already in the kitchen. For example, cooking an extra chicken breast or two takes the same amount of time as cooking one. Cutting up an extra stalk or two of broccoli only takes a couple of minutes but will save time and keep you on track towards your goals the next day when you are busy and hungry.

Getting off a bus stop earlier gives you a few extra minutes to walk and great benefits for your body. Once that is built into your routine, you can decide to get off two stops earlier.

If you drive a car, parking further from the entrance to a store provides some extra movement in your day.

Does that mean changing some daily habits? Yes it does, but they don’t have to happen all at once. Making small changes reduces overwhelm.

The Role of Accountability in Sustainable Health

Also, the reality is, most of us need accountability when we are changing habits or working towards a goal. Being accountable for our decisions can be humbling and it can mean being open to being vulnerable and receiving coaching.

I would not have been as prepared for my bodybuilding competition as I was without all of the coaches I was working with and checking in with them on a regular basis. That was my accountability.

After leaving the corporate world and becoming a solopreneur, I now work with business coaches. They help keep me accountable to my goals.

Occasionally, I hire a personal trainer to assess my form when lifting weights. I can’t see my form the way they do.

Every client I work with has tried to reach their health goals on their own. They get started and see some progress and then some aspect of life gets in the way and they find themselves back at square one.

Accountability becomes especially important when motivation in menopause fluctuates and energy feels unpredictable.

What can happen when we set goals and work at them on our own and then get off track? We can feel defeated or disappointed in ourselves. And that inner critic can do a very good job of making us feel even worse, to the point of giving up.

Am I consistent and focused on all of my goals all the time? No, I go off track and yes, my inner critic can start nagging me.

Returning to Routine

This past weekend, I was not consistent with my eating habits. I was having things that I normally do not eat or drink. It’s fun at the time. A few days later, I feel the effects of my decisions. My mood is low, my body feels stiff, and I don’t sleep as well. All of that affects my cognitive function.

Luckily, returning home and getting back to my regular habits, my body responds quickly.

This is the power of consistency in menopause. When we return to routine, the body responds.

Twelve years ago, when my body was in so much pain and my digestive system was so messed up, I slowly started changing my habits. It was the consistency of following those habits that allowed my body to heal. I was also consistent with regular follow ups with my naturopath to make sure I was on track.

Why Support Matters

We live in a time where people on social media can make it all look so easy to do on our own. Or just download an app.

The issue with those two scenarios is that they know nothing about you personally, and using AI as support on the days when you are feeling down and berating yourself can be very dangerous.

Working with a person who is trained and certified in their field is safer and will help keep you on track. They are also better equipped to notice signs that could be taking a person down a very unhealthy path. Being able to talk to a supportive person can completely change how we are feeling about ourselves.

I’ve had women tell me they’re interested in working with me but hesitate to reach out because they are unsure about pricing. I have multiple pricing options. Scheduling a call is a way to figure out what would work best for you and your goals.

I also spoke about this topic in more depth in a recent Navigating Midlife Live episode. If you prefer listening to the conversation, you can watch it here.